Enough

Today is that day. I. have. had. it. The kids are extra whiney and Gizmo getting hurt turned into a crisis not once, but TWICE, today. I am not a fan of being asked over and over to play video games by Smarty. He has a fit from hell if he has to do something productive prior to rotting his brain. I'm sorry for being a parent who cares. I'm sorry I don't want to waste my days hearing your cries. It's funny, they don't always act this way. When is it mostly like this? After they visit the grandparents. Common denominator is established. So, mathly speaking...if I the visits from the equation, I will get positive results. This was a great lesson. I learned a lot.

Wth

My Mom had surgery today and I didn't know it. It's no fault but my own for not talking to her enough. I am over my head in school and home things. I'm fucking mad. I really should have moved there instead. I hate my hometown but having family is great. I came here for family but haven't had what I need since I came. It's few and far between. I get help when it works for the help. Not when I really could use it. I can't ask for help because that would be played against me in some way or form. I just know it.

Good

Today was good. The kids didn't rip each other apart and I got some things done around the house on my to-do list. I like staying busy at home if I can help it. It's free and I can take a nap with Gizmo when he becomes unbearably tired. With summer on the way I am really excited to have more days like this. I want to be able to enjoy my boys while I get much needed time off school. I miss work but like to be around the kids as much as I can while they are still little. I may be working next year so this summer is going to be a blast! I'm planning swim parks, weekend trips and outdoor adventures!

Well...

I've been away. I guess I'm only in the writing mood when I'm in a shitty mood. Today's shitty mood is sparked by the hateful one herself. I'm so not able to be told what to do. I am not sure how I made it in the Army. I make my own rules and my children's. Whatever is included in the rule making process. Issue is, when you are 7420 miles (it's correct, I googled that shit) away from your partner the rules are usually made by the present parent. Guess what! I'm a spiteful bitch when I get treated like a second class citizen. So, learn to deal or quit being so evil. I do intend on doing whatever the hell I wanna do whenever the hell I feel fit. I feel better now...almost...Gaaaaahhhhhhh! Now I'm good.