Started working!

I got a job at a local feed store. It's very local...blocks away. I am getting a good feel for the area we live in now. The people here (the town I live and work in) are friendly and helpful. I think I could stay here awhile. We would like to buy the house we are currently renting and that is a option currently. My job is awesome. Awesome people, customer service and business type work. Too easy. I've been there and done that. I hope to stay there at least during the time I finish my degree. The hours will allow me to take a class or two at a time. Whatever got a job at a jail being a hard ass (jailer). This was where I was going to work before the other opportunity showed up. He starts next week and I think he is very excited to just be working again. A month and some change off is bad for that guy. All will be balanced in mi casa soon.

Looking for a job...

Anything! I will work any position at any place for any amount of money. I've considered stripping and
McDonald's. Those are on the same level of undesirability to me. It's hell trying to get a job in this market. Whatever came home from the land of sand earlier this month and he hasn't had luck looking either. We do 2-5 applications per day. No kidding. I assumed jobs were not so hard to get in a big area such as Dallas. I have tweaked my resume and cover letter so many times the original no longer looks like a valid form of impressing the employer. I have applied to be a event center greeter. Seriously. I can point folks to the toilet....professionally? I'm that hard up. I've even tried to be the next library shelver at a library 30 miles away. The info section of the job said I had to be 16. I'm scared I'll be beat out by a child. I really do want to work. It's a sad world when you are trying like hell to be gainfully employed and it is a job itself. This would be an appropriate place to say something about the upcoming election...I'm to tired and my break is over. Back to the hunt.

No calls please

I hate cell phones. Having the convenience to call, google, text, Facebook, etc.... is fantastic. It comes at a cost though. People like me that don't like to be called to just talk are stuck with being the asshole friend doesn't answer. I just don't want to talk. I usually am too busy to sit and or stand talking for shits and giggles. Also, I have to go outside to talk. My house gets the worlds worst reception. Even outside is not a foolproof way to stay connected. The calls drop. A lot. I hate to stand outside in the Texas heat by day or being carried off by West Nile infected mosquitos at night. No thanks. Another issue is children. I won't see or hear my kids for hours and as soon as I answer a phone call...chaos. Complete crisis. There is blood, screaming and poop. All at once. Sometimes I try to climb into the phone so I can escape. I no sooner than hang up and it all disappears. It's calm and quiet. It's exactly like after a tornado destroys a town. The sky is blue and the sun is shining. There is just a big ass mess left behind. I can't spank a storm though. At least I have that.

Hypochondria

I feel sick. Just achy and kinda blah. Maybe flu? Maybe severe cold or allergies? MAYBE WEST NILE?! I am a crazy person. I admit it time to time when I am in the mood to be honest... Worst case scenario just creeps up on me. I got it from my mother. She will take a simple issue and turn it into a crisis. Totally true story. Luckily, I grew up and got the hell out of that situation to pass the crazy on to my kids. Sigh. Anyway, back to my impending death...I've been bit by at least 20 mosquitos the past week doing odd outdoor chores. I always get ate up by them. I am without husband. I have to do stuff for myself and children still. I live in Texas. It's hot when the sun is out. So, I'd underestimate my bites to at least 1000 per year. I grew up in a wet area. Southern Indiana. Creeks and rivers. We had tons. They could carry you away but we never worried because West Nile didn't show up until 1999. Thank you Africa for that. I'm scared shitless I'll be walking down the street and just collapse because of these tiny predators snacking on me for about an hour a day. Yes, I wear bug spray. I'm not a dumbass. I still get bites. I tell myself I'm heathy enough to combat any virus that comes my way. I don't believe it though. I fear being sick and not having Whatever here to take care of the boys...and me, of course. I'll double up on my vitamins and take a few jogs this week (in the sun, I guess) so I can keep the possibility of becoming a statistic at a minimum.

Back to School

Smarty heads off to 1st grade tomorrow. He is so excited and happy to start the school year. Gizmo and I are going to post signs and decorate where I'll be hanging with some 3 year olds a few days a week. I love little kids. I really do. They are funny and soak up anything you offer at that age. Gizmo is still 2, so he is gracing another teacher with his presence. I'm glad it worked out that way because he would not be a good student for me. He turned 15 this summer in attitude years. Skipping the preteen years is something my kids strive for. They just dive into sarcasm extraordinaire level 10. Gizmo even can roll his eyes in perfect sync with his tude. I am a little proud that they can express themselves openly in a small minded world....but I keep my backhand at the ready for over-expression. With Whatever still away and in-laws in full spoil mode I have to stay sharp. It's like swatting a fly. You do it when the timing is right. Quickly, effectively, you get the job done. The crying is a side effect that is tolerable with wine. Whine for whine. Perfect.

Enough

Today is that day. I. have. had. it. The kids are extra whiney and Gizmo getting hurt turned into a crisis not once, but TWICE, today. I am not a fan of being asked over and over to play video games by Smarty. He has a fit from hell if he has to do something productive prior to rotting his brain. I'm sorry for being a parent who cares. I'm sorry I don't want to waste my days hearing your cries. It's funny, they don't always act this way. When is it mostly like this? After they visit the grandparents. Common denominator is established. So, mathly speaking...if I the visits from the equation, I will get positive results. This was a great lesson. I learned a lot.

Wth

My Mom had surgery today and I didn't know it. It's no fault but my own for not talking to her enough. I am over my head in school and home things. I'm fucking mad. I really should have moved there instead. I hate my hometown but having family is great. I came here for family but haven't had what I need since I came. It's few and far between. I get help when it works for the help. Not when I really could use it. I can't ask for help because that would be played against me in some way or form. I just know it.